Saturday, January 29, 2005

58 degrees in here!


Early this morning I had the doors and windows wide open. As long as I was moving, I wasn't cold. But when I sat to the computer...brr! I got up to look at the thermostat. It read 58°F. A few years ago I would have shriveled up and died at that temperature. I must be acclimated to the Topanga weather. I can't sleep unless the window is open and it's on the slightly cool side. Even after I am under the blankets for a few hours I wake up and feel like I'm in a slow cooker...so I open the window more.

There are complaints about this from another party who is not acclimated.

Friday, January 28, 2005

it's raining, it's pouring

Morbid Ruminations
it's raining, it's pouring
the old man is upstairs snoring
while i have hot tea
and contemplate death

my constant contemplation. death consumes me, a grey spectre that enfolds me in its lifeless sleeves and breathes a raspy, life-absorbing sigh that draws my life from me.

since i moved to this house it has been so. i felt a malevolent presence here before moving in, a hostile spirit of someone passed. if you were blind but felt with your hands a form in front of you, could you deny its existence because you couldn't behold it with your eyes? so it has been for me.

and death has caught hold of my garment and dragged a trail of grisly loss behind it. death advances, a rush of the dust to dust, ashes to ashes.

Thy soul shall find itself alone
'Mid dark thoughts of the grey tomb-stone;
Not one, of all the crowd, to pry
Into thine hour of secrecy.

Edgar Allan Poe

Thursday, January 27, 2005

what horrible edward gorey death will you die?

take the quiz and find out
Fit fit fits.
You will perish of fits. Repeat this to yourself:
"Things can work out even if I don't get
my way. Things can work out even...."

yes, that death seems to fit well. life has by now taught me that mantra..."things will be as they will, even if things don't seem to go my way."

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, January 22, 2005

karma

don't eat fish

We eat tons more of them than they do of us.
Why do we think this is fair?

Friday, January 21, 2005

bad poetry

t.s. eliot online
yesterday i screamed out loud when i remembered a poem i'd written...and actually shared with people. it was a demented moment, sharing that poem. i shall suffer forever after.

good poems are hard to find. poems printed in the TLS cause me to shudder at times. some are very nice.

i grew up reading my mother's favorite poets, so they hang on, like her blackberry pie and early morning solitudes. as a six-year-old child, i favored tennyson & co., as a teen i preferred american poets, and i still like t.s. eliot.

"I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas."


Thursday, January 20, 2005

old coots


I have made the effort in my life to be friends, or at least friendly with several old coots. I was startled to find that these certain so-called well-educated gentlemen have very shallow, hypocritical, and anachronisitic values. In all sincerity, a pit bull has better civility.

My mother half-heartedly attempted to inculcate in me the old hypocritical standards, because they had been taught her. But, bless her rebellious heart for detecting the hypocrisy of it all. And so, although she gave me the requisite social education, most importantly she instilled in me a glorious, freeing sense of rebelliousness against the falseness of snobbery, which, let's face it, amounts to nothing but small, weak egos that depend upon social placement for a sense of Self. So be it. It is what all the old birds were taught as children, so you cannot really blame them. I did rebel against it, more so than mummy.

Coot n. An eccentric or crotchety person, especially an eccentric old man.
The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language,
Fourth Edition Copyright 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

wet


the creek is no longer a raging river. it's now just a tumbling stream.

because of some fish and game law, we don't have a footbridge, we have a wash--a flat piece of concrete built over the creek so that we can drive across. when the creek rises during a rainfall, it flows, mmm...washes over the bit of concrete. and sometimes the flow turns into a full-on bloody torrent.

the landscape has changed completely. rather than a creek bed full of beautifully colored and shaped rocks, there is a large flat space of ugly mud, moon dust. small boulders have disappeared, trees are gone...from a charming woodland scene, it now looks quite barren.

i stood on the dry edge of the wash watching the stream flow over, wondering if i could cross in my sneakers to get the mail. most parts looked quite shallow. rather than going back in to put on my wellies, i went for it and got my effing shoes and pantlegs utterly soaked. and after i crossed again on the way back, the mailman stopped to deliver more mail. sigh

Monday, January 17, 2005

mini armageddon

too affected to go on with my blog as intended
what does a human do when armageddon hits one part of the earth? small disasters we can somewhat deal with. this one, the one that hit southern asia, is out of proportion to what we can reasonably manage. if you are aware of the situation, there is no need to detail the myriad problems here. the shockwaves will continue to spread out, continue to cause hell for the survivors, a terrible cause and effect. i don't have anything wise or comforting to say, only that turning the situation around depends upon our compassion.

(besides the war created by the present administration, and the holocaust, and all wars created out of greedy ambitions, when i think of armageddon i think of a destructive force that hits earth not caused by humankind. a catastrophe that no human is responsible for but that we're affected by.)

Sunday, January 16, 2005

tendencies



Saturday, January 15, 2005

donations for tsunami disaster




American Red Cross

DONATE if you can




quotes:

"Sweet bird, that shuns the noise of folly, most musical, most melancholy!" John Milton

"I'm not going to die. I'm going home, like a shooting star." Sojourner Truth

montage:

Careful! You'll get hooked. Try Picasso, friends, chipmunk or Scully.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

season of sorrow

   War-Tsunami-Mudslides

My deepest sympathy goes out to my brothers and sisters around the globe--and here in southern California--for the loss of life and painful suffering that you're enduring.

"They were so pure and good."

Left: Jimmy Wallet who lost his wife and three young daughters

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

mournful news

Things stink. So I might as well write about it. Although Topanga is not in Darkest Peru, it is still very like the Amazon. It's one of the wildest areas around L.A. and it took some getting used to when I moved here, even though I'd waited almost thirty years to do so.

When the fierce southern California storm was predicted by our modern erudite weatherpersons, I knew it boded ill for some unfortunate people. I’ve seen what California storms are like, and that people are never prepared for them, never expect them to be as deadly as they sometimes are. The storm has now passed but in its wake – grief and destruction.

Topanga Creek runs by the front of my house. Every rainy season it becomes an engorged monster. Since it runs between my house and the road, when it overflows from the downpour of water from the mountains and is so strong that it will easily wash away a car, it means that for a few days I am cut off from the rest of the world. The creek was the first thing I thought of when the erudite weatherpersons forecasted bad, bad weather for southern California.



Tragically, a young Topanga man did lose his life in the surging brown torrent. Reports online say he was dared to try and cross it. My 16-year-old friend next door, who was a friend of his, tells me there wasn’t a dare; rather, he just walked in. She said he floated down the current on his back with his arms out crucifixion-style and a smile on his face. They found him wedged in a tree Monday but had to wait until Tuesday to retrieve his body because of the heavy rain and dangerous waters. People have different reactions to a thing like this. It tears me up quite a lot.

We had other tragic deaths in southern California and I am deeply saddened by them. This on top of the tsunami disaster.

Topanga roads were closed so that it was hard or impossible to get in or out of here. A hella lot of non-Topangans travel to and from Malibu, Santa Monica, and the Valley via Topanga. But for a few days, they couldn't; a mile or more down the road an awesome boulder fell victim to the heavy rains and tumbled down onto the road. The solution was to dynamite it smithereens.

Our beautiful boulder was Yahoo's most e-mailed image yesterday.



Sunday, January 09, 2005

darkest peru

I walk through a rain drenched forest to get to my dwelling, stepping on slick wet stones to cross wide rivulets running down the mountain and gushing brown. Sometimes my boot sinks into sucking mud so I choose my footing carefully. Alongside the path rushes a roaring river, awesome in its power, washing soil away from the roots of trees and tumbling small boulders through its waters as though they were marbles.

Soaked to the skin, I'm back in my office, where water has slowly penetrated the ceiling and walls. The rug on the floor is laden with water, books and magazines are soggy piles of mushy pulp. A picture has fallen off the damp wall and I worry that my books on the wall shelves will absorb moisture and be ruined. Already the ivory-coloured canvas file boxes on the shelves are darkly spotted with mildew. Disheartened, I carry the books to a safer spot in the house, put the rug in the sink to drain, and throw down towels to absorb the seepage.

The tops of the verdant mountains surrounding this place are no longer visible; heavy clouds have settled down on their upper halves. Rain flows down their sides as if someone had poked holes all over the mountains and water runs out of them. Soil is carried away in the deluge and mud obstructs the roads.

You'll know me as Black Poppy. This trifling drizzle is my first slog, mm, blog. Just kidding about Peru. But the rest is true.